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3 February Fringe Finds (F’theater)

Scouring London Fringe listings for potential brilliance is a labour only love can help endure. If, however, one can overcome tedium and dodge the numerous ‘above-pub melodrama’ pitfalls, there are always delights to be found. This month I’ve done the labour and picked out some February Fringe Finds:

1: Jealousy – A Fusion Of Dance and Sculpture
Inspired by a novel, directed by a visual artist, involving four choreographers, featuring soundscape, material, light and movement… Jealously boasts almost all possible theatrical elements. Potentially harmonious, perhaps cacophonous, if successful Jealousy will add further weight to The Print Room’s ever-improving reputation.

Jealousy press image

6-18 February 19:30, £20 (£15), The Print Room, www.the-print-room.org

2: Mathematics Of The Heart

In time for valentine’s, a love story in which Dr Paul MacMillan, a professor of Chaos Theory, sits at the heart. Accustomed to dealing with his life in numerical terms, how will Dr MacMillan cope with what life now throws at him; family death, demanding relationships and a hot new student.

7Feb-3Mar 19:45, £14 (£9), Theatre 503, mathematicsoftheheart.co.uk

3: Rociante! Rociante!

Combining cutting-edge research into mental illnesses with classic literary representations of reality distortions, Rociante! Rociante! could do more than merely impress artistically. It aims to develop deeper understandings of mental illness; a cause much needed as we are increasingly encouraged to consider those with mental health problems, but without necessarily understanding what those problems might be.

10Feb-02Mar 20:00, £10, http://pantareitheatre.com/projects/rocinante-rocinante/

Granny Tablets: The New Old-Age-Technophiles (OATs)

Technology is already very small, extremely fast and immensely impressive.
Now comes the revolution of its use.
A revolution so powerful, even your Grandma might see the point of it! 

granny on ipad
An old lady, presumably a grandma, using an iPad.

Incredibly, despite having avoided all technology for her entire life, my grandma can use an iPad.

My grandma is not a ‘PC pensioner’*. She has never used a computer, never tapped at a keyboard, scrolled a mouse or thumbed an SMS. Ever. And yet, she flicks her way through an iPad photo slideshow and around Google maps without so much as a hint from me.

I remember my 7 year-old self tackling the futility of explaining my Mario Gameboy game to grandma. Was Gameboy really that much harder to understand? What’s changed?

Presented with an iPad holiday photo set, grandma asks us with complete curiosity how the photo appeared there. Optimistically, Dad’s reply starts "so my brother has a digital camera, from which he which transfers photos to his computer, then he attaches the photo to an email and sends it so that I can download and…" before realising that he may as well say ‘new fangled technology’ and be done with it.

But we’re amazed when against all odds she picks up the play/pause, swipe/tap concept almost instantly.

Educating The Indifferent

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Libraries nationwide have been doing their best to explain computers to the older generation in clearer terms. "Spend one hour learning how to roam the digital world" the large-lettered posters say, and "Explore your passions online: Sports… Culture… Bingo!".

Partly it’s the younger generations’ desire to share our own technological joy, but there are also pressing worries that national digitalisation will be hampered by Nana Gladys’s inability to pay her paper-less gas bill, or check the bus timeable.

Indifference remains a tricky opponent.

Silly Young Human Swipes a Magazine

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, there’s the somewhat startling unnamed 1 year-old who presses, swipes and ‘pinch gestures’ magazines as if they were an iPad. Let’s enjoy watching the silly little girl on youTube, shall we?

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Children have long been weaned on mouse clicks, but have you ever seen a toddler clicking their juice bottle? Probably not. The reason unnamed 1 year-old swipes her magazine is the same reason my grandma can use an iPad slideshow; because technology has truly begun to emulate physical reality.

Technology Becomes a No-Brainer

Our older generation needn’t learn the technological intricacies of macOS or Internet Service Provider Firewalls when technology is learning how to become a no-brainer. (Or at least less of a brainer than reading a magazine, according to unnamed 1 year-old’s actions.)

Digital diaries, for example, were once the realm of super-business-geeks, but now resemble… actual diaries, with pages, different coloured pens and space for notes. Technology, then, will not evolve beyond comprehension for those who missed its genesis, but actually return to their world of tangibility.

Let’s take the example from earlier, where Dad tried to explain a photo transfer. Simple as they now seem to us, Why should my grandma learn the words "transfer", "email", "attach" and "download" when new technology will act so ‘magically’ as to make the whole process intuitive?

Imagine…
1 – Touch the camera to your computer screen.
2 – All of your photo film rolls will appear.
3 – Drag the roll you want onto the lightbox.
4 – Your whole screen will turn into a slideshow for you to enjoy.

surface_msofty
Drag photos off your camera screen to your computer.

In this process of of picture management, none of the language is technical, none of the action are complex. Everything about the process, in fact, is instantly intuitive.

Intuitive Interactions

So as we reach technological limits for size, quality, speed, intuitive interactions between human and technology will be the next advancement. As improbable as it may have seemed once, this next step could be one that even my grandma enjoys.

End.

FBNana
Nana (somebody’s) joined Facebook.

 


*[Q: Could my grandma be described as a PC pensioner? A: No, she swears incessantly. (Too many Christmas cracker jokes and re-runs of Morecambe and Wise have adversely affected my sense of humour.)]

10 ways Google Image Search Could Change Your Life

Revolutionary: Google’s new Image Search ‘search by image’

Look! http://www.google.co.uk/imghp 

Picture editors of the world rejoice as one!

…but, well, pretty much everyone else, after a brief moment of amazement, go back to your normal day to day tasks. That’s been the case so far, at least.

Google Images has learned an incredible new skill; the ability to search in response to a picture, rather than mere words. Imagine, for example, you’re looking for sepia photos of Victorian schoolchildren? (Why not?) Once you’ve found one, simply dragging that first image into the search box allows google to find heaps more. Just what you wanted.

Impressive, sure, but also somewhat niche. Besides long-dead schoolchildren, what else could this possibly be useful for? Actually, quite an enormous lot of things, that’s what.

First off, then, a demonstration. Secondly, a round up up 10 ways that this technology could genuinely change your life (even if you don’t happen to work on a newspaper’s picture desk!)

5-Step Demo

1 – Go to google.co.uk/imghp 

 google images step 1

2 – Type in “monkey swinging from a tree” (or similar) and hit enter.

 image

3 – Ooh, that one’s good! Drag it into the search bar (or drag ANY image from ANYWHERE.)

 google images step 3

4 – Google figures out what it is, what it looks like, and offers you similar results. Magic!

 google images step 4

5 – Actually, a similar pic with tigers would work better. So add a clarifying term ‘tiger’. Go!

 google images step 5


How Google Images could change your life…

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1 – Holiday snaps – Remembering elusive locations

Where oh where was that incredible hotel we visited in 2003? Was it the Costa Del Sol? Or perhaps Littlehampton? Google a few pictures, try some clarifying search terms ‘Spain’ /  ‘hotel’ / ‘holiday’. There it is! Let’s book ourselves a weekend break.

 decorating-with-wallpaper

2 – Paint-less decorating

What would your living room look like with red patterned wallpaper? Surely someone out there has a similar setup. Upload a picture of your room, add the search terms ‘red’ / ‘pattern’ / ‘wallpaper’ and explore the possibilities.

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3 – Shopping price comparisons

Forget bar-codes. Simply snap a picture of the washing powder you find in Sainsbury’s to run a price comparison with Tesco, Asda, Morrison’s, HMV (assuming HMV have diversified into soap powder sales by then to combat an increasingly-threatened music industry.)

 images

4 – Fashion shopping

Like what you wear? Upload a picture of yourself, see what else comes up, then buy it. Don’t like what you wear? Upload a picture of someone else, see what comes up then buy that.

 red-tailed-hawk-flying

5 – Birdwatching

Photographed a bird or beast you can’t identify? Perhaps google images can help…!

 rose331

6 – Replacing the Antiques Roadshow

Who needs experts when it comes to antique valuations? Googling an image of your loft-dusted liquor decanters could provide direct leads to similar auctions past. Even better than an educated guess, this technique would provide genuine previous-sale values.

 FreddieFlintoff_house

7 – Through the keyhole

Stalkers needn’t prowl the streets in search of houses they’ve spotted in OK or Hello. Simply upload a street or house photo and Google does the legwork for you. Also works for less-illegal location searching activity.

 220px-Rembrandt_Christ_in_the_Storm_on_the_Lake_of_Galilee

8 – Art criticism

Don’t find yourself stumped when offering commentary on an art exhibiton (as so many of us often are). Instead, click a crafty pic on your phone, check Google’s similar artist suggestions, then offer critiques such as “The brushstrokes are eerily akin to those of Rembrandt’s later work” or even try “It’s clearly fraudulent copy of Matisse, shall I call the fuzz or will you?”

 Saint Claire

9 – Art estimation

Two main factors affect the price of art; quality and scarcity. Google can help with the latter. Search a painting. If Google’s stuck for similarities, you’ve got yourself a rare gem. If it finds a hoard of similars, tough luck.

 Bankers_Lamp_Desk_Light_Reproduction_Furniture

10 – I want another one of those

Chances are, if you bought something a while back, you’ll have forgotten where it’s from. Desk lamps, picture frames, stationary, furniture… Google image search is ideal for locating a retailer who sells the matching product you need.

 

Disclaimer

Although a few of the 10 ideas above might prove patchy now, expect at least a few to become reality within the next couple of years.

All images in this post were sourced using the methods above mentioned. Try dragging them from this post directly into a Google Image search box to find where they’re from.

 

Try Google Image Search by Image NOW

Try Google Images’ new search-by-image feature for yourself at http://www.google.co.uk/imghp

london:sideways Magazine Launch

london:sideways magazine brings fringe culture to centre stage. Covering music, theatre, comedy and arts, this delightfully cheery monthly mag helps you plan out a diary of unusually off-centre events. Read features, interact with video content, learn lots from interviews, select gigs from top picks; truly joyous!

It’s free. Every month. Here:

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london:sideways magazine | monthly | free | download | online | londonsideways.co.uk

Lukewarm: Wesker’s Restaurant Lacks Energy

The Kitchen by Arnold Wesker
National Theatre Olivier, 28 September 2011

  kitchen_1991345c

Public interest in the Gordon-esque kitchen nightmare can be explained by energy; bodies and plates colliding, the heat of the stove, chefs erupting with sheer passionate spirit. Energy, sadly, is what The Kitchen lacks.

Orders pile up in Wesker’s 1950s London kitchen. His 30-strong staff team provide a mixing pot of characters spanning races, ages and temperaments. Irish new boy Kevin (Rory Keenan) strains under 750 plaice orders, while poultry chef Frank (Neal Barry) dishes out predictable flirtation to streams of waitresses. Yet all agree that in the blaze of supper service the kitchen becomes ‘no place for a human being’.

Stylised movement, beautiful and thoughtfully choreographed in its own right, creates an unnecessary level of grace. With welcome exception of the first act’s closing lunchtime moments, and an eventual frustrated crescendo from long-term employee Peter (Tom Brooke), The Kitchen feels more mellow than manic.

While ovens roar, gasses hiss and blue flames lap sizzling pans, The Kitchen possesses all the necessary dramatic ingredients to serve up its representation of a workforce strained to breaking point by the industrial machine. Without focussed force, however, the message comes across lukewarm without commitment or clarity.

Until 9 November. Box Office: 020 7452 3000.

When somebody Googles your business, are they impressed to find this, or disappointed to discover this? Dilly-dally or get stuck in; what’s your attitude to getting your business online?

5 Reasons to Delay Sorting Your Web Portfolio

Web Portfolio - Delay

1 – The client books are full for now.
The books are chocka-block for the next few months, so it’s time to get my head down and crack on; marketing for clients can wait.

2 – Already listed online somewhere… Probably.
Anyone who searches me will eventually find my phone number, so those really need to can reach me, even if they have to rip my details off a flyer from 2004.

3 – My business is a mess in my head, let alone on a website.
My archives are all in a mess, and my business could go in any direction at any time. Summarising all that for a website would be a chore.

4 – Everyone already knows about me.
Business contacts and friends should know exactly what services I offer – I’ve told them enough times.

5 – This digital world is all new-fangled and confusing.
For all everybody says, websites are more hassle than they’re worth, and rarely generate any actual business.

If you’re happy with those reasonings, you’ll be happy to leave your business offline. Consider, however, the following…

5 Reasons to Crack On with Sorting Your Web Portfolio

Web Portfolio - Crack On

1 – Boost your client base.
Impressed by your website, new clients searching for your service will be encouraged to get in touch with you rather than your ‘no-web-presence’ competitors.

2 – When people search… they find!
When someone’s looking for you specifically, help simplify their search by providing all the info, and be in control of what else they see by-the-by.

3 – Present the best of your business.
Archives, business aims and directions often become clear once presented as a website. Presenting the best of your business in a web portfolio often works even better than a business plan in clarifying your achievements past and yet to come.

4 – Feel proud.
Show off the best of your business, not just to impress others but also to remind yourself what you’ve achieved.

5 – Make digital contacts for real-life business.
However you view online networking, it’s happening right now. With a great web profile you’ll be well positioned to make the most of online networking (or at least not miss out if someone else wants to get in touch.)

 

Feel inspired to beef up your business’ online presence? Get in touch with Sideways.

3 of the Best… The Pleasance Times 2011

During August I tuck blog.sideways.me.uk in for a wee nap. Meanwhile, I’m up at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe writing The Pleasance Times, a daily print & online publication for the largest, highest-award-winning and best venue at the Festival; Pleasance.

Pleasance’s August has been stonking, crammed full of incredible shows, all-day-and-night events and well-deserved awards. The Pleasance Times has been with it throughout. I’ve picked out three personal highlights which were a joy to make and hopefully interesting to read, whether you made it up to Edinburgh Festival Fringe or enjoyed it from afar.

My top three are:

1 – Tabloid Special, Thurs 18th Aug 2011, Featuring: Bane, Late Night Gimp Fight Page 3, Fringe Fondles, Sarah Bennetto’s Ridiculous Riders, The Wrestling…

2 – Financial Pleasance Times, Fri 26th Aug 2011, Featuring: Spent Bust Bankers Fail at Fringe, Aindrias De Staic, Apply Within job advert, Pie chart of an average comedian’s day, Invitation to a lecture on Jacques Tati.

3 – Pleasance Times Awards, Mon 29th 2011, Featuring: John Malkovich attends award ceremony, Best Shoe Award & More, You The Editor Indie reviews The Pleasance Times.

 

The rest, so you can find your own favourite three, are available at: http://www.pleasance.co.uk/times

Pie Chart: The Average EdFringe Comedian’s Day

piechart2

 

(Originally published in the Financial Pleasance Times, Friday 26 Aug 2011.)

Quick Thoughts… Kingston Upon Thames

[Thoughts on coming home and going out for a shopping trip in Kingston, South West London, after a year travelling and working in Asia.]

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Kingston’s iconic reverse-toppling telephone boxes.

Everybody looks like they’ve committed a crime; theft, fashion, looking at someone else’s bitch.

If you’re under 18, Mum must accompany your shopping trip.

You must look cool to buy cool. It’s like chicken and egg situation, except neither of those things wear sunglasses and a scarf.

Buddhist ‘monks’ selling books outside Mark’s&Spencer’s seems a tad optimistic.

Cheese is rich and sickly. Did we really used to lavish it on prisoners.

The British accent is fabulous! I do so wish the chaps could teach them yanks a thing or two.

Groups of young people are made up of distinct individuals. Team players not allowed.

Reading people here is easy. Tight trousers + backpack + gloves = cyclist. Blue tracksuit + baseball cap = chav. Wide collared shirt + big mobile = Wannabe businessman who’s actually just a senior sales executive junior manager.

“Braaap, yess m8, that looks sick. Check this man, sick, init?” / “Yess bruv.” / “Ah but shit, man, it’s red. I don’t wear red. Got nothing that matches red. Fuck.”

T-K-Maxx advertises ‘Free Bags Are Back’. While I’ve been away, they’ve started charging for plastic bags to save the environment, then decided that consumers’ 5p is more important.

Since when were milkshakes cool?

Sadly, the most appealing smell in Kingston is Subway’s manufactured baking bread fragrance.

Belly buttons are ugly and unnecessary for public display.

Make sure you shop between mealtimes. There will be no opportunity or time for snacking, or street food.

Uniqlo’s staff didn’t get it when I replaced the usual ‘cheers’ with ‘arigato gozaimasu’.

shop_1691-Unit-F16-Bentall-Centre-Kingston-Upon-Thames
The Bentall Centre Shopping Centre

Design… Stacy and Debris Flyers (playON)

Flyer designs for playOn’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2011 shows, Debris and Stacy.

Debris - Final inc Bleed B - JPG - 20-7-11

Debris Flyer. Photography by Georgina Ower.

Stacy - Final inc Bleed B - JPG - 20-7-11

Stacy Flyer. Photography by Georgina Ower.

playON logo recreation

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